Greg and Nadine at the job interview (Part 2)
If you want to read part 1, visit the link below:
https://john-chuckler.medium.com/greg-and-nadine-at-the-job-interview-part-1-d1edc64ce049
And now for part 2:
Greg was looking anxious. “Guys, I think I’d better head in. I could really use this job. I don’t want to get anything wrong.”
“Sure. I’ll look out for Nadine. We’ll be in shortly.” I said.
Greg headed down the corridor. He gave a few punches in the air, but his arm movements were somewhat restricted by the jacket he was wearing.
I turned to the security guard. “These are a pair of binoculars. They’re not a weapon. Can’t you just run a metal detector or something? They’re really important to her.”
“I’m afraid not. No visual enhancement device is allowed in the studio.”
At that moment, a man wearing a suit emerged from the corridor, and approached the receptionist.
“Has Bruce gotten back yet?” he asked.
“No, Mr. Bridgewater.”
So, this was the illustrious Malcolm Bridgewater. He noticed the standoff between Nadine and me with the security guard, and turned to us.
“Is there a problem here?” he asked.
“This lady wants to take her binoculars into the studio,” informed the security guard.
“Oh. I see. Is there a reason you need them? Because we can store them safely for the duration of the show,” Bridgewater stated.
“I never part with them. I need them when observing from far away, like the back of an audience,” Nadine replied.
Bridgewater then turned to the receptionist. “Janet, do we have any spare seats in the VIP row?”
“Ah, yes we do. Just one.”
Bridgewater then turned to Nadine. “We can sit you in the front row, but there is only one seat. So your friend here won’t be able to sit next to you.”
Nadine and I both agreed that this arrangement was okay. She reluctantly surrendered her binoculars to the receptionist, and we headed down the corridor with Bridgewater. When we reached the first studio door, we parted ways. Bridgewater took Nadine to the front row of the audience, while I tried to find a free seat at the back.
Once seated, I could see Bridgewater still walking with Nadine. Some people in the audience cheered for him. Another man, wearing a suit, came up to him. They exchanged a few words, and then he walked off. Bridgewater then gestured to an empty seat for Nadine to sit. Once seated, he headed off to the stage.
On the stage, Bridgewater was now seated in a large leather chair. Opposite to him were three seats. Greg was seated on one of them, and a man and a woman on the other two. A makeup artist went around to each of them, applying brushes and whatnot to their faces and gave a light comb to their hair. There were also a few tall indoor plants behind where everyone was seated.
A man wearing casual clothes came to the front of the audience.
“Can I have everybody’s attention, please.”
The audience became quiet.
“Thank you. Welcome to the show. We’ll be starting in a minute. At the start of the show, we’d like to have a round of applause, a few more during the show, and then another one at the end. So if you could applaud when the sign above you lights up, we’d appreciate that. Other than that, I hope that you have a great time tonight, and enjoy the show.”
The applause sign lit up, and we all clapped. A voice boomed in the background, “This is ‘One Job, One Destiny’, with Malcolm Bridgewater.”
A camera on the stage swung around and pointed at Bridgewater.
“Good evening, and welcome to the show,” began Bridgewater. “I’m looking for a new employee tonight. Specifically, a new resources team member for our head office, and one of my three guests tonight will be getting the job. First, we have Greg Goget of Brisbane.”
The audience applauded.
“Welcome to the show, Greg. Have you been on TV before?”
“No, sir,” replied Greg.
“Well, there’s a first for everything.”
“Next, we have David Boffenhauer of Sydney.
Again the audience applauded.
“Welcome, David. I understand that you just graduated with a business degree?”
David slightly adjusted his thin-rimmed glasses and smiled.
“I did indeed. I am just so excited in engaging with the possibilities in the business world.”
“Great to see, David,” replied Bridgewater.
“And last, but not least, we have Jennifer Rider of Perth.”
Once more, the audience applauded.
“Welcome, Jennifer. So what do you hope to find here?”
Jennifer waved her hand through her long blonde hair. “I hope to find the next phase of my life, Malcolm. I’m looking for new challenges and opportunities.”
“Someone eager for the next step. That’s what I like to see.” Bridgewater said.
Bridgewater then turned to the camera. “So I’ll just say briefly how we are going to do this. I’ll first interview each of you separately, and then we’ll have a kind of group interview. I will then make my decision. So first up, Greg. Tell me a bit about yourself.”
“Well, I like used to work as a pizza delivery boy when I was younger. I also like to jog.”
“I see. What specific skills do you think you can bring to being a resources team member?”
“Well, I’m hardworking, and I never give up.”
“Those are great qualities. But can you be more specific? Do you know what a resources team member is?”
“Well, the job description on your website listed some of the qualities that an applicant should have, like ‘a natural at making friends’ and ‘quick problem solving a must’, but it did not actually say what the job is about.”
“So you don’t know what a resources team member is?”
“I admit that I do not know what a resources team member is, but I am eager to learn.”
The audience gave out a menacing “Ooooh!”.
“That’s okay. I admit, it is not a good look, Mr. Goget, when you don’t know anything about the job. But I’m going to help you out. It is about efficiently deploying strategic assets, managing the expectations of stakeholders, and long-term documentation management.”
“Thanks for telling me that. I’m all about efficiency and stakeholders. What I can promise you, Mr. Bridgewater, is that I will fight for you.”
Greg then got up, and took his jacket off. He slightly spread his legs apart, and held up his now clenched fists. People in the audience started to gasp. He started punching the air.
“I’m always in the ring. Nobody can land a punch on me unawares.” He then started to turn in a circle, punching the air as he went. He gave out various vocalisations like, “Yeah!” and “Bam!”. “No matter where my opponent tries to land a punch, I’m always facing him. He has to fight his way through my will and determination. Yeah!” Greg punched the air a few times, alternating between left and right fists.
“Who are you fighting, Greg?” Bridgewater asked.
“Everyday life, Malcolm,” Greg replied.
“Why do you think life is an enemy?”
“I didn’t say that life was an enemy. It is my opponent. I am its challenger. And I am the thirty-six-year undefeated champion.”
From all that sparring, sweat was now dripping down Greg’s face. At least, I think it was. His forehead seemed to shine.
“Uh, okay, I think we’ve heard enough, please take a seat.” began Bridgewater. “David, tell us about yourself.”
“Well, I have done a business degree — just finished — and I have done a few internships as well.”
“Fantastic. What kind of internships?”
“Well, just meeting with stakeholders and overseeing asset management at a few companies. Also putting company documentation in appropriate long-term storage.”
“I see. What are some of the companies that you have worked at?”
“Well, I worked at Yellowdale — ”
“Yellowdale! My brother works there. Actually, come to think of it, I think he mentioned a ‘David’ a few times.”
“You’re not talking about Rob Bridgewater, are you?”
“Yes!”
“Oh my god. I had no idea you two were related!” exclaimed David.
“Small world!” remarked Bridgewater.
“Indeed.”
“Okay, David. Now that we are done with pleasantries, what can you bring to the role of resources team member?”
“I can follow corporate directions and resolve issues regarding assets. I can also independently engage with stakeholders, thereby alleviating potential meeting fatigue for those in higher positions than me. I’m a team player and I enjoy enriching my life with the learned experiences of others.”
“Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.” Bridgewater got up and shook David’s hand, and then sat back down.
“Okay, Jennifer, you are the last one. Tell me about yourself.”
“Well, I have just completed a communications and tourism degree. I have also interned at a couple of companies.”
“And what did you do in your roles there?”
“Well, I frequently engaged with stakeholders, managed our inventory of company assets, and supplied relevant documentation for board meetings.”
“That’s great. You can’t get experience like that out of thin air. You have to work for it.”
Bridgewater then turned to the camera.
“Now that we have spoken to each of the candidates, we are going to have a group session. That means the candidates can also speak to one another and ask questions too. Back to you, Greg.”
“Yes?”
“What experience do you hope to gain from working at my company?”
“Well, I like the opportunity to work with others and meet new people.”
I noticed that Greg was starting to catch onto the language.
“Greg, do you know what kind of company Mr. Bridgewater runs?” asked Jennifer.
“Um, no, I have not had the opportunity to look it up. I just saw the individual job description.”
“Mr. Bridgewater has a corporate empire spanning the country that serves a key role in the goods sector,” David said.
“Look, I have to say I don’t know what that means,” Greg replied.
At that moment, Nadine got up, waving an arm in the air like a kid raising their hand in class to answer a question. Her raised hand clutched her notepad.
“I know what that means! I know what that means!” she shouted as she ran towards Greg.
“He runs a vacuum cleaner retail chain!”
At that moment, some of the staff headed towards Nadine to prevent her getting on the stage. One of the cameras swung around and pointed at her. People in the audience started murmuring to each other.
“What?” Greg asked her.
“He owns a whole lot of stores that sell vacuum cleaners. He said it just before the show started.” She then started flipping through her notepad. “At 6:54pm, a man approached Mr. Bridgewater — ”
At that moment, staff started talking to her and gesturing towards her seat in the audience. She went and sat down.
“We apologise for that interruption,” Bridgewater said to the main camera.
“You sell vacuum cleaners? What’s all this stakeholders and assets and documentation? Sounds like meeting manufacturer representatives, managing warehouse equipment, and putting paperwork in a filing cabinet to me,” declared Greg.
“Yes, that’s right,” remarked Jennifer.
Bridgewater’s face was growing red. “I think we should get back on task, everybody. Now — ”
“I’ll show you, Mr. Bridgewater, what I can do.” Greg got up, and once again took up the fighting stance of a boxer. “Hey, Mr. Electrolux, we want you to reduce the wholesale price of your products by ten percent, or we’re not stocking it.” He started punching the air, and yelling “Pow!” and “Kapow!”. He then turned to the camera. “Not so fast, Hoover. You’re not sucking our profits either. Twenty percent off for you, or no deal!” He then turned to Bridgewater, while at the same time, a chorus of laughter arose from the audience.
“I’m always in the ring, Mr. Bridgewater, always in the ring. If I’m not getting them, my name’s not Go-get-em!” Still holding his fists up, Greg turned to the audience, and punched the air a few times, each blow punctuated with a guttural utterance. He then jumped and twirled to the left, and the audience became quiet.
“Mr. Goget!” exclaimed Bridgewater.
“Hang on, I’ve almost got him!” replied Greg.
Greg didn’t punch, but he was looking in different directions, as though he was looking a weak spot in the defence of his “opponent”. Someone in the audience let out a chuckle. Greg then gave one big punch with his right hand. Bringing out his left fist to join his right, he jumped and twirled again. At that moment, his left arm accidentally struck a fake indoor plant, which sent it tumbling over towards Bridgewater. The corporate vacuum cleaner peddler now found himself brushing away a safari’s worth of fake palm leaves from his face. The audience was now rolling with laughter.
“Remove this man!” shouted Bridgewater.
One of the staff madly ran about on the stage, yelling “Cut! Cut! Cut!”
So that was my day yesterday. As Dickens once wrote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Needless to say, Greg didn’t get the job. Oh, and Nadine was safely reunited with her binoculars.
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